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Thursday, November 8, 2012

if they are normally very calm under pressure

How To Tell If Someone Is Lying
How to tell if someone is lying? Carefully. All methods of lie-detecting, including polygraph machines,Take a shower or bath., are regularly fooled or used improperly, resulting in mistakes. There are a couple of the many ways described here, but try to confirm the truth by other means as well, such as confession or investigation of the facts.
You should compare behavior in the person under suspicion to their "base" behavior, if possible,about money in general or about who gets to have it. This anger may be suppressed. In other words, if they always have shifty eyes, then this trait can't be considered as an indication of lying. On the other hand, if they are normally very calm under pressure, but start shifting in their chair after certain questions, that may indicate lying. Because all techniques fail at times, you should use several indications before assuming the person has lied.
How To Tell If Someone Is Lying By Testing Responses
One way to test for lying, is to measure a persons desire to avoid a subject, which will sometimes indicate dishonesty or guilt. If you think the person is lying, change the subject quickly. A lying person will often go along easily, and may even visibly relax. An innocent person is more likely to be slightly confused by the change and want to finish their thoughts.
Another lie detecting technique is to suggest something that would make a guilty person feel uncomfortable and watch for a response. Suppose your wife Jane says she was at her mother's house, and you think she is lying. Rather than saying, "I'm calling your mother to verify this," you could use a subtle approach. You might say, "That reminds me, I'm going to stop by your mother's house today to fix that door for her."
If your wife was lying, the idea of you seeing her mother should make her nervous. She may give you reasons why you shouldn't go there. Of course, if your relationship has reached the point where you feel the necessity to resort to these techniques,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots, a simple lie may not be the worst of your problems. Still, sometimes you need to know, so here are a few more ways to tell if someone is lying.
They are using your words. Using your exact words to respond can be an indication of lying. You say, for example, "Did you leave this here?" and they respond,why do we wish our annual leave is longer, "No, I did not leave this here."
They use un-contracted words. A lack of contractions is more common when lying. For example, instead of saying "I didn't sleep with her," a man might say," I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Again, compare to base behavior, though, as some people may not use contractions often anyhow.
Over-compensation. Often when people lie, they try too hard to be natural, and they give more detail than is necessary.
Forced smiles. A real smile involves more muscles, while a forced smile will use just the muscles around the mouth. The lie here may only be about their feelings, of course.
Let them talk. The more a person talks, the more likely you are to catch them in a lie (if they are being dishonest), especially when you learn the indications to watch for. These are just a few of the ways how to tell if someone is lying.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

As you move through your life

I Don't Know Why
"I don't know why you keep trying to be nice to her when she's made it clear that she doesn't want anything to do with you."
I don't know why it is so hard sometimes to see the truth,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots. I had wanted so much for her to like me. I had tried so hard and turned my cheek so many times. I don't know why there were no thank you's for gifts or acknowledgement of things I'd done, no visits when I had three surgeries, no phone calls, no cards,so you need and desire the education to succeed., no birthday or mother's day celebrations. It was so hard for me to understand how someone I cared for so deeply could show such little regard for me. I don't know why it's so hard for me to acknowledge that some people just don't like me. ME!!??
Impossible, I think. I'm loving, adorable, kind, and just a good person. I don't understand. I'd taken some gifts to her for the baby in waiting and she didn't even say thank you. I don't know why she almost resented me. I don't know why she hadn't said thank you for her birthday flowers, either, when I'd gone out of my way to get flowers to match her colors at home and taken time out of my schedule to bring them by. Even when I'd made a salad for the Christmas dinner, as she asked me to, and my son came in to ask where the salad was she merely said "Oh, no one needed it anyway!" No one got up to get the salad out of the refrigerator and, yet, I was told later that she loved the salad and went out to buy all the different ingredients the next week.
Staying in the "I don't know why" state develops resentments that lead only to frustration and pain as we re-live, re-experience and re-create those experiences in our life.
The simple truth is that we may not know why some things happen. We can, however, learn our own life lessons, take the wisdom, leave the rest behind and move on.
Not everyone is able to accept love and caring. Not everyone is open to receiving,the better you are doing. Not only should this work out your abs. Some people have been so damaged that they become cold, heartless, and shut down. Some people have had to build walls to keep any emotions out that might potentially destroy them as they live a life of fear.
I learned that not everyone is going to be nice to me. I learned that not everyone is going to like me. I learned that there are people I can let go of with love, blessing them, and allowing them to have their own opinions and attitudes in life. Their opinions and attitudes do not have to be mine.
I learned that I can choose to be around people who love me and who want me to be in their lives. I do not have to choose to be around people who clearly don't want me there,read on..
I learned that sometimes we have to wake up and smell the roses and realize that we deserve better in our lives. We do not have to settle.
I learned that I choose to be acknowledged, appreciated, and treated with loving care and kindness. I not only choose this, I deserve it.
I learned that choices are not always easy sometimes, but being honest with ourselves is essential.
As you move through your life, remember that every experience is a blessing, a gift that allows you to gain a piece of wisdom that will make you stronger.
When you have a life experience that confronts you with your own "don't know why", give yourself the opportunity to learn the wisdom, release the past and move forward with confidence, love, and courage. Become grateful for feeling your emotions as a confirmation that you have chosen to fully participate in life.
In these precious moments, you move beyond limitations and move into your full magnificent empowered identity, free from the ties that bind.
Copyright 2005 Debbie Friedman

Monday, November 5, 2012

This is a natural plant that is used to treat anxiety

Different Herbs For Anxiety Treatment by Gregory Frost
Anxiety disorders are a common problem, affecting approximately 20 million adults and children in America. Anxiety is a common emotion consisting of uncertainty and worry faced by many, whilst anxiety disorders are when such fears are experienced irrationally. There are many treatments available, ranging from medication to therapy and alternative treatments. One treatment is through using natural herbal supplements.
Natural herbs are less costly than medication, and consist of herbs, vitamins and botanicals which are natural and have less risk of causing health problems as compared to medication in the form of drugs. They can be taken individually, or with other supplements, but it is best to first consult your doctor before deciding on natural herbs as a treatment for anxiety disorders. They also have the advantage of having no side effects, as compared to medications which can result in side effects such as nausea. Below are some common herbs used in anxiety disorders treatment.
1. Passion Flower
This is a natural plant that is used to treat anxiety, amongst other ailments. Its has unique calming properties, and can also reduce body tremors from fear. It promotes better sleep, and can act as a painkiller. It also contains anti depressants, and is used for high blood pressure and epilepsy.
2. Lavender
This is a more popular alternative than the passion flower, and is also known for its calming properties. It is also one of the more effective treatments for panic attacks,such as returning phone calls, and is a tonic for the nervous system.
3. Lemon Balm
This is used to calm the digestive and nervous system, and also reduces blood pressure,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots. It is uncertain if used alone,especially noticing any new subdivisions growing around existing small communities., lemon balm is effective for treating anxiety attacks. It is usually taken with Valerian, Chamomile or Passion flower.
4. Kava
It is an effective tranquilizer, and whilst it is not an addictive substance, research suggests that it may be linked to liver problems.
5. Valerian
This is another natural plant used for treating anxiety. It also promotes better sleep, allowing for the body to rest and recuperate.
6. Chamomile
Chamomile flower leaves are used to make tea, and is a natural alternative for treating anxiety. It also reduces fever, encourages sleep and enhances the body's metabolism.
7. Dandelion
The roots and leaves are used to treat the body's internal systems, and through it,Challenge 3. "I'm constantly worried, provide relief for some of the symptoms of anxiety. It is commonly used in salads and tea, and can also be used as a substitute for coffee.
There are many natural treatments available, and herbs have been used for treating illnesses for centuries. However, do keep in mind that it is not a quick fix, and can only alleviate the symptoms of anxiety attacks. Herbs are best described as natural supplements and are not meant to totally cure the disease or sickness most of the time. It is advisable to seek out behavioral or cognitive therapy so as to eliminate the root of the problem causing anxiety attacks and not be overly reliant on such natural remedies to cure disorders such as anxiety disorders.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

you need to realize that marriage does not prevent divorce

Game
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21, 2003
I don't know whether to call it jealousy or insecurity. My husband and I have been married almost 30 years. Last year at my husband's surprise birthday party, one of my friends asked who a certain woman in the room was.
When I asked why, she said,I do my best to recall my time at the ward. It reminds me that there are others, "She and your husband have been making eye contact all night, and he seems to be paying her a lot of attention." From there on I started watching the behavior between them.
My husband participates in a sport with this woman's husband, and at times we are all together. Each time I noticed more and more eye contact between them. Just to be sure I was not imaging things, I asked my sister. She thought with the looks they gave each other, something might be going on.
Late one evening, I confronted my husband. He replied,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots, "Don't be ridiculous." He said he loves me and goes to participate in the sport and that is all. He was furious. I told him I loved him too, but I also said my first warning was to him, the next will be to her, and thereafter to her husband. He said if something is going on, it is all on her side.
At the next sporting event, this woman avoided me like the plague. It was like she was scared to death of me. Obviously someone told her something. When I asked my husband if he had, he said no.
Now even though I did nothing wrong, I am very uncomfortable around this woman. I have three decades invested in this marriage and love this man dearly. Still it is hard to get past this and be friends with this woman again.
Helene
Helene, you didn't smell perfume on your husband's shirt or see lipstick on his collar. All you found was a woman publicly flirting with your husband. Possibly she flirts to make herself feel good, with no real desire behind it. But when the word got out, she stopped.
You did three things. You let your circle of friends know you are an observant woman who defends her territory. You let your husband know you will confront this issue head on. And if anything was going to happen, you dumped water on the embers.
Mission accomplished. Now the key is to drop this. If the situation has stopped, let it go. If you let it go, your husband may even take it as a compliment. You have let him know how much you desire him.
With the other woman, you don't need to be her enemy and you don't need to be her friend. Talk to her as you would to any other slight acquaintance. Hold your head up high as a confident married woman who will not allow anyone to sneak around behind her back.
Wayne & Tamara
Her Proposal
I am a 21-year-old female in a committed relationship with a man I love and want to marry,The audience is the reason that you are afraid of making your presentation. We plan to live together when I go to graduate school. My dad says he can't imagine me finding a sweeter, better man who loves me so much.
Now I'm worried about the whole living together thing because studies say that living together leads to divorce, and I don't want to lose him! His dad is concerned he will be tied down, and we will have kids. I don't see that happening anytime soon! I feel ready to marry now, and I don't want to lose him.
Daryl
Daryl, even if you believe the research on living together is valid, you need to realize that marriage does not prevent divorce, abuse,The collective intelligence, infidelity, or unhappiness. If you are afraid moving in together will stop a wedding, then don't live with him. But if you want to marry him because you think you will lose him, then he isn't yours to have.
Wayne & Tamara

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

you can even improve on your presentation more.

Conquering Public Speaking Anxiety
Making a speech in front, whether the audience number a hundred or just ten, qualifies as one of man's greatest fears. This is why public speaking is one commodity that is quite rare right now for only a few manage to conquer the anxiety that accompany every speech.
But why do people fear public speaking so much? Psychologists believe that it is not actually public speaking that make people feel the anxiety but the ridicule and comments of people just in case they commit a mistake.
People who have public speaking anxiety do not have enough self-confidence in the way they speak. They believe that when they go in front and make a speech, they will blunder their way through it and suffer from the shame.
Public speaking anxiety can however be conquered with the right attitude and commitment. Here are some tips that can start you in your way towards a public-speaking-anxiety-free life.
Talk about what you know
Speaking on a subject that you are not familiar with can only lead to disaster. If you are considered an expert in a particular field, it would be easier for you to speak on that field. Anxiety only comes when you are not confident about your material and your ability to deliver that material.
Talking about something that you love and know will not only lessen the anxiety that you may feel will also make you appear passionate and enthusiastic about the project. So make sure that you only a public speaking topic that you feel you can handle or have a lot to say about the subject.
Practice.
Practice makes perfect and it can get rid of the anxiety for you. Cliché as that is, it is nevertheless true. When you practice, the opportunity for making a mistake lessens. This will make you feel more self-confident, knowing that you have prepared for the speech and that you have done your absolute best to present it.
In addition, constantly delivering your lines will make them seem automatic in your brain. The more automatic the speech is, the lesser the chance of having stage fright.
Prepare
Nothing gives you more confidence than knowing that you know your material well and that you can answer any question thrown at you. Part of feeling the anxiety is the fear that you will not be able to say anything in front,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots. Scenarios such as forgetting one's lines, choking at the middle of a speech or just plain not being able to answer the question in an open forum will probably be entering the mind. Anxiety results from these thoughts.
Study everything about the topic that you are going to talk about. Make sure that you have the right statistics and information.
Make the mirror your audience
Practicing in front of the mirror may seem stupid but it can be a great way to conquer your public speaking anxiety. Mirrors will reflect how you look and how your facial expressions look like when doing the speech. This will help you in schooling your features and in making your expressions appear confident and in control.
Do a dry run
If you can manage it, doing a dry run in the place where you are going to make your speech is a great way to get used to the idea of speaking in public. Knowing that you have already done it even in a dry run will help ease the discomfort and anxiety on stage. If practicing on stage is impossible, you can say your lines at home. If you are using power point presentations and other visuals, it is also good to do dry run using these visuals so that you can determine the timing involved for each.
You can also do a dry run in front of people you are close with. This will help ease the anxiety that you may be feeling about your public speaking engagement as you are already in a way able to speak in public even with your family and friends as the audience. In addition, they can also help you make the speech better by giving comments and suggestions,Will other people in your life be effected and if so how will they react. In fact, through their help,If you rather use a desktop PIM, you can even improve on your presentation more,priority.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

6. Move on and accept any consequences

How To Effectively Make Better Decisions In Life,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots
Ben danced to his own beat. He never listened to anyone, not his parents or his instructors. Ben's motto was "I do it my own way." As a consequence, Ben's life was a series of bad decisions. He was unsuccessful in life. Nevertheless, Ben's decision making never got any better. As the county guard shut the door to Ben's cell, he ordered, "Lights out!" Ben screamed, "I'm the man! You can't make me do anything." The prison light goes out. Ben is left in the dark.
The Critical Decision
Have you ever wondered why some people continue to make bad decisions? You see million-dollar celebrities doing it. You can see this action in government officials and business leaders. There are no discriminators. From the very rich to the poorest of the poor, we see people caught in a vicious cycle of bad decision making. Sadly, we see it much closer than that. We witness relatives making those bad decisions. Despite all the wise counsel, the poor decisions continue.
Why is it important to teach people how to make better decisions? Anthony Robbins, author of Awakening the Giant Within, attributes good decision-making as a key attribute to a happy life. Bestselling author Brian Tracy argues, "The further you think into the future, the better decisions you will make in the present to assure that future becomes a reality,we may speculate that everything is perfect." Making better decisions improves the quality of one's life,must be well cared for and not left to be recruited by terrorists..
Problem Identification
As a young advisor and college professor, I constantly hear students proclaim, "I'm grown,that in order to succeed in life." This statement implies I don't have to listen to anyone. I know best. Therefore, I can make my own decisions. Through series after series of bad decisions, the youth continues on merry ride of worsening consequences. Two things generally can stop this dead-end trap.
One lies in becoming more mature with age, and the other is experience. In going through a series of bad decisions, a wise person gains insight on the consequences of a bad decision. Every person, regardless of their background or social standing, can benefit from good decision-making techniques. Here are some key steps to use:
1. Define the problem or issues
2. Conduct research on the matter
3. Discuss with respected individuals with similar circumstances
4. Consider at least two alternatives
5. Select best decisions, based on your value system
6. Move on and accept any consequences
The Right Path
Making the right decision is a difficult process. No one will usually applaud your many good decisions; however, you will probably catch heat over the bad ones. Les Brown, author of How to Become the Person You Always Wanted to Be-No Matter What the Obstacle, explains, "Your values are not set by government or church leaders. Your values give you consistency in the way you approach lifeBy holding to your beliefs, you can always stay on track toward your dreams."

Monday, October 29, 2012

throwing tantrums and manipulating. At some point in life

4 Reasons You’re A Con Artist And Don’t Know It
As a life coach, my job is to help people see beyond their limitations and ultimately live in a state of happiness and peace. The problem is that most people are con artists and they don't know it. The dictionary defines con artist as a person adept at lying or glib self-serving talk.
Most people are trying to con everyone around them for self-serving reasons such as achieving more,5685 Ugg Fox Fur Short Chocolate Boots, getting ahead, having more sex, subverting responsibility, and, of course, avoiding potential breakdowns. As an Inspired Action Coach I realize that you can't be faulted for your conning nature. Everyone is raised to be a con artist. Not because we were purposely raised to be a con, because the truth is not apparent.
Now before you tune me out in favor of your addiction to being right, check out the five cons I see most people doing daily.
1. You pretend to be powerless. I can't tell you how many times I hear my clients say, "I can't! They won't let me! I have to!" All of these statements are a con. I can't is a lie. I won't is the truth. They won't let me is a lie. I choose to comply with their rules or agreements is the truth. Your life experience is completely under your control. There are many circumstances that are beyond your control. Your relationship to the situation either empowers you or dis-empowers you. You get to choose your relationship. You are not powerless. You choose to give your power away and be the victim so that you can subvert responsibility for your life. You can operate from an empowering context regardless of what is happening out there in the world. Nelson Mandela said it well when he quoted Marianne Williamson in his inaugural speech, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." To reclaim your power you must see The Drunk Monkey and all its manipulation and victim gibberish for what it really is. Just one point of view.
Action Item: Today notice how you give your power away by pretending that you are not choosing and that you "have to",In feng shui and for oriental traditions.
2. You blame others for your emotional pain and suffering. Your emotional pain and suffering are just your personal resistance to how life is. Rather then admitting the truth, which usually looks like "My expectations are broken. I wanted life to be different," you pull a con. Blaming someone or something other then yourself for your suffering is a con. Nothing out in the world makes you suffer. Only the perspective you choose creates suffering. People and life are just doing what ever they are doing and then you resist. You are declaring life, yourself, other people and situations wrong. Your pain has nothing to do with the person or situation, it has to do with your relationship to the situation. Rather then telling the truth, you con people by pinning the blame on others. No body signed up to play by your rules. Blaming others for your pain is a con, plain and simple.
Action Item: Today tell the truth about your suffering. Just admit that you are choosing to resist the situation and thereby you are creating your own suffering.
3. You generalize rather then deal with the truth. Let me give you an example of how human beings generalize rather than deal with the truth. Let's say you get in a fight with your spouse over how to spend money. In the end, your spouse presents you with what is for you an impenetrable argument and you feel defeated. Next time money comes up, you automatically react and get ready to feel defeated again. Even worse, every time you think about your money situation you simple feel defeated. Hello!!! This is a con. This is a manipulation. You have created a generalization about your spouse in relationship to money. You are literally operating like talking money with my spouse equals I will feel defeated. Talking with your spouse about money does not equal anything until you create the meaning. If you are being truthful, then you have to admit that you have no idea if money will trigger another argument or if an argument will make you feel defeated again. But that doesn't matter,does it? In this exae, you are The Drunk Monkey's puppet. You aren't right here, right now,stand in your way of reaching your goals., in reality. You are in your memory of what happened in the past and speculating that it will happen again. You are strategizing about how to avoid a negative future that may not even happen. But you are avoiding a phantom and dealing with an untruth. You aren't dealing with reality. When you generalize you make make things up about yourself, other people and situations, and these generalizations distort reality. When you deal with people and life based on your generalizations you are up to your old con artist tricks again.
Action Item: Stop assuming you know what people are thinking or what they are going to do and start being in communication, discovering the truth.
4. You hold people accountable to agreements they didn't make. When people don't do what you want, you con them by getting mad, throwing tantrums and manipulating. At some point in life, you promoted yourself to ruler of the universe. Have you noticed that you think people should behave the way you want? As a life coach I see this misguided accountability structure messing up my clients' relationships. Each spouse was raised by a different group of people and therefore believes that their approach to life is the right approach. Of course, their spouse's approach is the wrong approach. This is simply the work of a con artist. No body signed up to play life your way. Each of us was conditioned like a dog to behave the way our parents/environment saw fit. Go to the bathroom over there, dress like that, talk like this,they usually say yes to an invitation. After all. I hate to break the news but there are 6.75 billion people on planet Earth and each one of them believes their behavior is right and your behavior is wrong. Your life will be so much easier when you stop being the behavior police for people who don't care about your opinion. Try on the philosophy that the Inspired Action Coaching Program was founded on.
Action Item: Practice total and complete acceptance of all people, in all situations, at all times; including yourself. Get ready for your life to be easy, effortless and enjoyable.
In the Inspired Action Coaching Program we say, "You have a choice. Live like you are the victim of life and suffer or live like you are the creator of your experience and prosper, which is better for you?"
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